I remember ... I cherished ... I missed ... I am trying ..

"I remember" ... very dearly",  it was a few years back, a little school going boy heard about distant lands, better places to live than he was in right now. He was fascinated with the facts people poured over him, a dream popped out, he wanted to be in those places.

"I cherished" ... for the boy that he gets to his target" because as his inner self will not be satisfied until he does it ... The boy was unguided on his tour of this big vast world. He had friends, but were they really what they were to him ? He never cared ... they were on the same quest as his own. but, unlike the boy they were guided for their tough and competitive ascent of life.

The boy only had a perception of getting good grades in school and score in few more exams and he will be through to the next level ... he was utterly wrong. A big part of his ignorance came out of his own careless attitude ... and why not, he was the only child of his parents ... not a very wealthy family but, a well putting family as far their needs demanded. This little boy wasn't a spoiled one ... he knew his parents, specially the mother is working hard for him ... he just lacked the motivation to make his dream come true.

"I missed" ... couldn't help him getting past the early obstacles". Very soon the boy faced his last of the schooling examinations .. he passed the tests but not with very flying colours as he used to ... again his lack of motivation to pursue the right trail leading towards his dream of life failed him one chance to get to where he needed to be. A little confidence went down, a feeling of guilt creeped in ... but the chance was gone. The next big thing was to graduate ... this little boy had a very peculiar habit, he never aimed for the 2-tier targets, his choice was always the elite things in his arsenal.

The boy tried his best to get into the best graduating institutes in his land ... it required a two step exam clearance ... he always made through the first stage but couldn't get past the second hurdle. Two times he tried, two years he lost ... he was fully backed by his mother against people who said he was wasting time. money and his career. His mother trusted in him ... the boy was doing his part but still lacked that fire instinct to pursue the target ... In the meanwhile his parents got separated legally and started living apart ... the boy stayed with his mother. She was the only one who cared for his decisions, his likes/dislikes, dreams and who he was and how he was.

He got admission ... went away to study ... his mother was left behind alone ... A time came something very visceral happened(very personal in boys memory) ... that moment changed him, he was shocked to his inner cores of the conscience. The boy decided to change, to get over his weaknesses, to pursue his dream actively, to prioritize his steps to get to his dream and nothing else mattered. Still he was unguided ... but this time he believed in helping himself rather than seeking help from someone.

Finally, the boy graduated. He wasn't congratulating himself very much because he knew the time he had lost in past he has to make up for that time and also he has to fulfill the duties his position now demanded. it was a double trouble for him but he had grown optimistic over the period of time and believed he will do it one day, though he always knew in his brain that every big effort needs its part of sacrifice and he will have to make those sacrifices in order to be what he always wanted from himself.

"I am trying" ... to help the little boy standing up to his ambition". The boy graduated. had to wait for few months ... got employment ... a respectable one in his stratum of  studies ... All people who criticized his mother for backing him always for all his decisions had no options but to be silent ... The boy is now again planning and executing steps to get to the next level and he will do it no matter what it takes ... that dream is still very much alive in him. He now keeps a low profile, doesn't do the time wasting things he once used to do, no partying, no meaningless celebrations becuase a time will come when he will celebrate and will do to the fullest.

I am certain he will make it one day ... in essence ... he has boarded a better, faster and equipped boat to "explore the nautical miles" left to be covered. And all of this achievements he has grabbed on his own ... no body guided him ... circumstances made him self guided.
Lets hope for the best in the end.